Livin' In A Gamer's Paradise March 28th, 2000 Gary: What a bummer, man. Randy: Now what are you whining about? Not enough chlorine in your big Texas pool? What a crybaby. Gary: Well, I did have to add more chlorine to the pool, now that you mention it. But that's not the problem. By the way, how is the weather in Manhattan? Randy: Shut up. Just you shut up, man. Gary: Oh, yeah, baby! Chalk another one up to the master. Don't mess with me, son. Randy: So what are you crying about? Gary: It's just that lately there has been a slump in the number of new Mac games being released. I mean, tons are being announced, and more and more games are coming to the Mac than ever before, but for the last couple of months, I haven't gotten to play a new Mac game. Randy: That's right. We saw an incredible number of killer Mac games at Macworld Expo, but where are they? Where are they, man?!? Gary: See? It is upsetting. Randy: Well, I know a way to cheer us up. Let's review what new titles are just around the corner. Gary: Tell me a story Daddy. Randy: Hey, cut it out. You're freaking me out a little. Gary: Yeah, you know the game I have been most eagerly awaiting is Baldur's Gate. Baldur's Gate is going to rule! It's a new role-playing game that is set in an extensive world that you explore and try to save from evil. It follows the rules of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and you have to create a party and adventure and do all of the stuff that you do in D&D. It's five CD-ROM's of an incredibly detailed world that I already have on preorder. Randy: So what's the problem, chompy? Gary: Well, when I first ordered it, it was supposed to be released on March 13. Now Amazon.com says it is to be released April 3. When will it end, man? Randy: Well, that's how it works. They tell us when a game is going to be released, then they admit they were lying. Usually several times. Gary: Aaauuuggghhh!!! Randy: What now? Gary: I just checked out Amazon.com, and now it has slipped to April 5. Kill me now! Randy: Where's my drill? Gary: That doesn't even make sense. Anyway, on to another game whose release is imminent. That's Driver, from Macsoft. There is a thin storyline about how you are outrunning the cops for some good reason, but who cares. This game is a blast to play as you drive your big seventies muscle car through cities modeled after real cities like New York and Miami, breakin' the law Randy: All Macsoft will say for now is that Driver is due in the first quarter of 2000. They have no info on system requirements even, so don't be surprised if this slips as well. Gary: Another game that we are both eagerly awaiting is Diablo 2. The reason that we haven't mentioned it at all in this column is that when we tried to interview the bonehead at the Blizzard booth at Macworld Expo, he was rude. Randy: And we don't like that. Gary: Blizzard's web site says that we should look for it in the first half of 2000, but the guy at the Expo said, "It will be ready when it's ready." Randy: It should be a lot like the first Diablo, but with more expansive worlds to explore and better graphics and 3dfx support. I'll buy it when it finally arrives, no thanks to smugboy at the Expo. I'd like to cast a spell on him. Gary: That didn't come out the way you intended, dude. Or did it? Randy: Ha. Ha. Gary: Another radically delayed game is Bungie's Oni. This game, based on Japanese anime, is about a year overdue. Randy: This one is way cool. It appears to be the next generation Tomb Raider. You have a ton of moves you can put on your enemies and it is third-person, but it one-ups good old Lara. Gary: Mmmmm, Lara. Randy: Snap to, man. Oni has superior graphics and incredible gameplay, from our limited experience at, you guessed it, Macworld Expo. Gary: And I m not even going to mention Halo, which was completely absent from the Expo. It was as if it had never been mentioned at Macworld New York. Randy: You just mentioned it. Gary: Doh! Randy: Anyway, expect some serious delay on that one as well. Gary: Don't get us wrong, folks. We are thrilled that these games are coming to the Mac. It wasn't too long ago that they never made it to us. We just want them now. Randy: These are the coolest games we have ever seen and we are just jonesing hard for them. Gary: But remember, before you complain too much, compared to a couple of years ago, we are livin' in a gamer's paradise. Randy: Just leave the complaining to us.