Bungie: See Ya, Wouldn't Want To Be Ya June 21st, 2000 Randy: Dude! Why are you up on that chair? And do you have a keyboard cable tied around your neck? Gary: Well, you heard the news. Bungie has been assimilated. So, I guess there's nothing left to live for. That's why I have thrown this keyboard cable over the beam up there and looped it around my neck. Goodbye cruel world! (thud) Gary: I guess I should have tied the other end around something heavier. Randy: Yeah, because then whatever you had it tied to wouldn't come sailing over the beam up there and.... (crack) Gary: Aaaauuuugggghhhh!!!!!! Randy: Who would have thought that a keyboard could do so much damage? That looks like it really hurt. Oh, well, speaking of hurt, let's talk about Bungie. Gary: Nice segue, man. Of course, I have a concussion. Randy: That's why we put 911 on the speed dial. We'll call in a bit. Gary: What's a Bungie? Randy: Monday, the horrible news broke that Microsoft bought our beloved Bungie. This really sucked for a number of reasons. First, Bungie started out as a Mac-only game maker. They brought us Marathon, when the PC had nothing to compare to it. Gary: Yeah, they had Wolfenstein. Hah! Randy: Now the most evil company that has ever existed is in charge. That's no good. Gary: Some people are saying that Bungie was in trouble and that Microsoft will provide a cash infusion to help jump-start stalled projects. Randy: Those people are stupid. It is true that Bungie hasn't released a new game in over two years, and rumors have abounded that Halo , the most anticipated computer game in a long time (maybe ever), was in serious trouble. However, even if Bungie agreed to this deal to save itself, you can bet that Microsoft has other plans. Gary: Microsoft says that Bungie will continue to make its own decisions, and that it will remain independent. Randy: Right. Then why are they moving their offices from Chicago to Redmond to live with the sharks? Gary: Bungie says that it will make its own calls. Randy: In every scary movie you have ever seen about vampires, right after the main vampire bites the crap out of somebody, that somebody tries to convince somebody else that getting bit by the vampire was the best thing that ever happened to them. Gary: Oh, yeah. "It's bliss..." Randy: The Borg, Man! Microsoft is The Borg! Sure, everyone seems happy, but if they are so happy, why does Picard fight so hard not to become one? Why, I ask? Gary: The vampire analogy was kind of cool, but you lost me with the Star Trek stuff. Randy: My point is that I am a lot more concerned about Microsoft's motivation in buying Bungie than Bungie's motivation to sell. Gary: Microsoft hasn't said that Bungie will stop making games for the Mac. That's what everyone is concerned about. Randy: Yeah, but last week, Bungie's official line was that Halo would be a simultaneous Mac and PC release. This week, the official word is that no decision has been made. Maybe simultaneous, maybe all platforms, maybe none, maybe somewhere in between. Gary: Microsoft is developing its own console gaming device to compete with Playstation and Dreamcast. I have a bad feeling that its X-Box, as it is known, has a part in all of this. Randy: Damn straight it does! I don't think that Microsoft was really buying Bungie at all. I think that Microsoft was buying arguably the most anticipated computer game of all time, Halo. Gary: Yeah, they are going to use that game to market its X-Box. You want to play Halo? The only place you will be able to, at least at first, will be on the X-Box. And Bungie agrees because if they don't maybe Halo never gets released at all because they are running out of resources to finish the project. Randy: I bet that Halo does make it to the Mac, but six months after its release on X-Box. Gary: Those bastards! Well, time to try to kill myself. Randy: Whoa there, chompy. Bungie is not the only Mac game maker out there. Aren't you waiting for a little game called Baldur's Gate to arrive in the mail this week? And what about Driver? And what game have we been staying up too late playing? Gary: Unreal Tournament! Randy: See, there are plenty of companies that will continue to make killer titles for the Mac. It's just a shame that this one got eaten by a monster and doesn't even know it yet. Gary: So, there's no reason to kill myself? Randy: Well, of course there is, li'l buddy. I just know a better way. Look in the fridge. Gary: Of course! Beer! Randy: That's right. Now toss me a forty.