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Santa, Please Forgive Me. Randy: Hey man, what are you doing with a pencil in your hand? Using it to clean out your ears? Gary: Get bent. I am writing a letter to Santa Claus telling him what I want for Christmas. Randy: Yeah, count on a lot of stuff with that attitude. Gary: Oh, yeah, I have to be nice. Well, that just sucks. Randy: And considering all of the terrible things that you did this year, you may not get any presents for many years to come. Gary: I have not been that bad, dude. Randy: What about the time you slipped that exploding paint ball through the slot in the subway token booth, and then held you hands over the slot so the lady couldn't push it back out? Gary: Yeah, there was blue paint everywhere. You couldn't even see in the booth anymore. But you could sure hear her. That was awesome! Randy: Don't you think that will hurt your chances of getting any presents? Gary: She deserved it. I bet I get a bonus gift for that one. Randy: Well, maybe so. So, what do you want for Christmas? Gary: Games, games and more games. This is the best Christmas ever for games on the Mac. For example, Madden NFL 2000 is the first real sports game for the Mac in, well, forever. Electronic Arts and Mac publisher Aspyr Media brought it to the Mac in time for the holidays, and it kicks some major butt. There is a Practice Mode, an Arcade mode, where you just run plays, and a Season Mode where you run a whole year long campaign. Randy: You won't be getting that. Gary: Why not? Randy: Remember when you tied the firecrackers to the fishing line and swung it up into your upstairs neighbors' open window? Gary: Well, they were playing their stereo really loud. But, dude, I swear, I didn't know they had a cat. Man, that thing really sailed. I really thought it was going to make the balcony across the way. It was so close. Randy: Well, the Chinese guy on the ground was totally pissed. Can you imagine what it must be like to have a freaked out cat land on you from four stories above? Gary: Imagine it? I saw the whole thing. Hey, but I did send him a card in the hospital. Randy: Yeah, but you said it served him right for feeding cats to people in his restaurant. And that guy was an accountant. Gary: Okay, so no Madden NFL 2000. But Baldur's Gate is going to rule! It's a new role-playing game that is set in an extensive world that you explore and try to save from evil. It follows the rules of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and you have to create a party and adventure and do all of the stuff that you do in D&D. Randy: Which is? Gary: Uh, I really don't know too much about D&D. Randy: You won't get that. Gary: Why not? Randy: Because you are lying! You keep a Monster Manual in your PowerBook bag. Gary: Okay, but I definitely deserve a copy of Tomb Raider III, also from Aspyr Media. It follows our favorite adventurer, Lara Croft, to all-new locales, like Antartica, in search of a rumored meteor. There are new ways to travel, like a quad bike and a kayak. It is going to rule! Randy: No way will you get that one. Gary: Oh, yeah? Randy: You're thinking of Lara Croft right now, aren't you? Gary: Dammit! What about Descent III from Macplay? It supports hardware acceleration and I guarantee that you get airsick playing that thing. Randy: Remember the pumpkin incident? Gary: What about SimCity 3000? It has better graphics than before and is a cool update to the classic city building game that we know so well. Remember how we stayed up all night playing that game? Randy: I never stayed up all night playing SimCity. Gary: Oh, yeah. That was that stripper. Randy: I really don't think you will be getting any games this year, dude. Gary: I swear, I wasn't that bad. Just a couple of glitches that I am sure I can spin into positives for Santa. Randy: There is no way you can spin replacing a blind man's dog with a squirrel into a positive. Gary: That guy wasn't going anywhere! And that dog can catch a frisbee! Randy: Man, I am going to stand over here so maybe I can survive the lightning strike. Gary: Santa doesn't strike you down with lightning. Randy: Yeah, but God does. Gary: Oh, crap. |