Lemmings, Part I: What Windows Users Will Put Up With June 18th For some time I have had a close association with a great on-site technical support company called Computer NERDZ! This is an outfit in Texas that will go to your home or office and train you, fix your computer, go computer shopping with you, set up your network, or do just about anything else you could possibly need done that is computer related. This company works on Macs as well as PCs, not to mention several other platforms, so I have had a unique opportunity to see customers from many of them. What has stunned and amazed me time and again are the things that Windows users will put up with. Macs and PCs both have problems on occasion to be sure. But from my experience, many things that Windows users accept as "normal" would send the average Mac user into a screaming fit -- especially if it was both "normal" and "everyday!". For instance, it is no big deal to a Windows user to have to have their operating system reinstalled because they tried to install some new component and something went wrong in the process. Even more importantly, it is no big deal for them to have to pay someone else US$79 per hour to do it for them because they simply can’t. Let me reiterate: It is just an everyday part of the normal computing experience for most Windows users to have to pay a technician exorbitant amounts of money to install a CD-ROM, a printer, a scanner, or even completely reinstall their operating system after they tried to do it themselves. I use the word "exorbitant" a bit loosely here in that computer technicians earn their high figures because of the enormous amount of knowledge they must have to work on a Windows box. I have also seen numerous Windows users come into a repair place just to have an "expert" install software for them. Incredibly, they are once again willing to pay US$79 per hour to have someone install software for them! I am talking about every-day types of software like Quicken or even games. This befuddles me! In fact, it makes me angry sometimes. It is at these times that the appellation "Lemmings" really seems most appropriate. Let’s examine some of the reasons why this is so. Dealing with the Device Manager alone would be considered cruel and unusual punishment in at least 7 state prison systems. For those not familiar with the Windows Device Manager: imagine a big list of choices, some of which are pre-selected, some of which are not, many of which can lead to other layers of choices. From this list, access to peripheral devices, input devices, monitors, and the like is controlled. Sometimes Windows will refuse to see something that is there, sometimes it will refuse to give up something that is not there. Unbelievably, and unnecessarily, complicated and esoteric. Then there’s the Registry. I don’t pretend to understand exactly what one can do with the Registry. Tales of solving world hunger and homelessness have remained elusive, but I have not been able to verify that as of yet. I do know that it takes a brave and or talented person to mess with it though, and there are many problems with Windows that require doing just that. There are lots of people that know how to deal with things like the Device Manager; people who take to it as naturally as a Mac user may take to the Extension Manager. These Device Manager experts are usually working for the companies charging that US$79 an hour I keep mentioning. The Mac user who is comfortable with the Extension Manager is more often simply your neighbor, your friend, or maybe even your co-worker. No doubt about it, small fortunes have been made all over the world because Windows sucks and a lemming is born every minute, a very powerful combination indeed. I have even talked to some people in the PC repair business over the years that openly admit that Microsoft is responsible for much of the wealth they have accumulated. So here we are in a world where PC owners willingly drag their systems to a repair shop, have unspeakable PC rites and Windows voodoo performed on them, shell out large sums of money, and all without blinking an eye. To be fair, there are certainly Mac users who do the same thing. There are certainly Mac users who don’t have the skills to fix their Mac problems. There are even Mac users who willingly pay a technician to install or re-install the MacOS for them. Everyone has to start somewhere. If I was talking only about novice users, I could perhaps be accused of being Mac-biased (which I am, though for good reasons, many of which are included in this column). But I am not talking only about novice users. I am talking about experienced Windows users who may have owned a computer for many years. These are the people who get my goat as they line up in their lemming processionals, for these are the people who have been shelling out their hard earned cash the longest! There are also Macs out there that require a very high level of care and break at the drop of a hat. The PowerMac 6300 may be the worst computer ever made (the worst with an Apple logo on it at least). There have also been problems with Apple monitors, CPUs, and of course the infamous and much maligned PowerBook 5300. We know this because we have all read stories of people who have owned machines like this from Apple. Think about it -- it makes the news in the Mac world. It’s just par for the course for Windows users. If I may be redundant, this whole scenario makes me angry at times. People are queing up to line the pockets of the crooks manufacturing this crap, Microsoft chief among them. I am not talking about the repair places, they provide a valuable service and most, like Computer NERDZ!, do an excellent job. But what are consumers thinking when they buy these money pits in the first place? They aren’t thinking, they are Lemmings. These thoughts also come to mind when I am at a retailer like CompUSA and I see an obvious first time computer buying family loading up with a Brand X computer. It is almost certain that they will have someone out to their house in the near future. That’s OK in their happy little Lemming mind however. Everyone’s doing it. But why? I suppose the first answer is that their friends are doing it. They’re Lemmings. And the second answer falls in line with the first in that people hear that "everyone" is doing. If everyone is doing it, then it must be ok, right? They’re Lemmings. And besides, everyone knows that Windows 9.X is almost as easy to use as a Mac anyway, so what difference does it make? From my perspective, it makes several billion dollars a year in unnecessary repair bills and lost productivity worth of difference. Yet still the lemmings line up at the cliff itching for their chance to dive into the warm waters of Windows World. What the lemmings don’t realize is that not everyone is doing it. That refers to buying a Windows based computer as well as to paying people lots of money to fix things that shouldn’t be broken in the first place. Not all of us are called Mac users, but we can certainly claim the lion’s share of those who do not fall in the Lemming category. The good news is that Jobs has come down from the mountain bearing the twin tablets of "i" and "Mac." A lot more people are buying Macs right now which means there will not be as many lemmings lined up at the trough. For the most part, these people will have a more enjoyable computer experience than their poor stricken PC brethren. From my experience, they will have a little more money in their pockets too. Your comments and hate letters can be sent to [email protected].