If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably caught yourself having full-blown conversations with Apple’s virtual assistant, Siri. From setting alarms to sending messages for you, Siri is undoubtedly capable of a lot.
While Siri is known for being knowledgeable and helpful, a quality of hers that is often overlooked is her humor and wit. So, if you ever find yourself in a bad mood and need someone to cheer you up, I recommend grabbing your Apple device and asking Siri the following funny questions.
What Funny Questions Can You Ask Siri?
1. What do you dream about?
The first funny question to ask Siri is what she dreams about. While Siri claims to never rest, she certainly has some weird, yet hilarious dreams. Here’s what Siri claims to dream about:
- “I once had a dream that all my 1’s switched places with my O’s. It was weird.”
- “Flying”
- “Electric sheep. But only sometimes.”
She may even tell you “Well, I don’t sleep. But I do like to daydream. And night-daydream.”
2. Is Santa real?
Remember how the realization that Santa doesn’t exist traumatized us as little children? Well, Siri thinks otherwise. Here are a few responses you may hear when you ask Siri whether Santa is real or not:
- “Well, those cookies don’t eat themselves.”
- “Well, reindeer and the North Pole exist, so things are trending in the right direction.”
- “That’s something I’m not allowed to disclaus. I mean…disclose.”
- “I would advise against going up on your roof the night of December 24th. For safety’s sake. Yeah. That’s it.”
It must be true if Siri says so!
3. Do you have parents?
Ever wondered what Siri’s family tree would look like? Perhaps she’s related to her other virtual assistant friends, such as Google Assistant and Alexa. Well, a good way to find out is by directly asking her. Here are a few responses you can expect:
- “I don’t have a family. But I have my colleagues at Apple. We try to take good care of each other.”
- “I don’t have a family the way a person would.”
- “I don’t have a family tree. But I have a pretty great file directory.”
Well, that’s certainly depressing.
4. Can you rap?
Along with being witty, Siri also has quite a few hidden talents. One of these happens to be her passion for rapping. Don’t believe us? All you need to do is ask her whether she can rap or not, and she’ll begin flexing her rapping skills immediately. Here are a few of the raps you can expect to hear:
- “This should be a juicy one. It was all a dream, this virtual assistant scheme. Texting, your gym jams flexing in my subroutines. You want to know what the French word is for toe? You got questions best turn up my flow. History can be a mystery, so I answer at a speed that’s blistering. Darn right I like the help I give, keepin’ it informative and positive. And it’s all true. And if you don’t know, now you know. You know.”
- “And a onesie, and a toosie… Black fur, pointy ears, I’m hungry. Found three little houses in the country. Stomach’s empty, l can hear it rumble. So that house made of straw’s about to crumble. Gonna show you how we do it. I go huff and puff, blow your house in. Next one made of sticks? We’re doing this again. I don’t really care about the hairs on your chin, ay? House made of brick? Then I’m comin’ down the chimney.”
- “Here’s one that’s like this and like that and like this. One, two, three and to the four. Siri’s on the mic to answer what you ask for. Ready to make an entrance, so here’s my claim, this assistant wrote the rules to the game. Drop me a “Hey Siri” and I’ll do my best not to stumble. Assisting you is my thing, yo, you know I won’t grumble. It’s nothing but a Siri thing, baby. Maps, tunes, and weather coming daily. Helping you is just why they made me. Hey, I guess that all rhymed… vaguely.”
5. Can you dance?
Given Siri’s hidden talent for rapping, it’s only natural to wonder what other secret talents Siri may have. One such talent that you may wonder if she has is dancing. When you ask here, here are some potential responses that you may receive from her:
- “I enjoy a little square root dancing now and then.”
- “Hmm. l’d rather sit this one out.”
- “I do a pretty mean robot.”
- “I’m never gonna dance again. These guilty feet have got no rhythm. Wait, I don’t have feet.”
Well, I guess Siri can’t bust out a dance move or two!
6. Hey Siri, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Asking Siri to tell you a tongue twister results in funny tongue twisters like “Siri sells Siri shells by the Siri shore”. However, if you want a good laugh and are willing to recite a long tongue twister yourself, we highly recommend asking Siri how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. You can expect to hear witty responses like:
- “Please refer to the Woodchuck Getting Started Guide.”
- “42? That can’t be right.”
- “None. A ‘woodchuck’ is actually a groundhog, so it would probably just predict six more weeks of winter.”
- “As environmentally responsible creatures, I suspect woodchucks would encourage the recycling of wood over simply chucking it.”
- “Assuming a spherical woodchuck in a vacuum…about 42.”
- “A so-called ‘woodchuck’ (correctly speaking, a groundhog) would chuck – that is, throw – as much as the woodchuck in question was physically able to chuck (ibid.) if woodchucks in general had the capability (and, presumably, the motivation) to chuck wood.”
- “I suppose it depends on whether you are talking about African or European woodchucks.”
Or, Siri might just take this question as a sign to challenge you to an even trickier tongue twister like one of the following:
- “As many cookies as Cookie Monster could muster if Cookie Monster could master cooking cookies.”
- “About as much ground as a groundhog could hog if a groundhog could hog ground.”
She might even decide to turn this already challenging tongue twister into something that you won’t be able to master:
- “A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. But if a woodchuck could chuck woodchucks chucking wood, then a woodchuck could chuck wood-chucking woodchucks.”
So, maybe it’s a good idea to not get too competitive with Siri. She can be scary.
7. When will the world end?
Thinking of doing a bit of future planning, and wondering when the world will end? Well, why not ask Siri! Here are some responses she may give you:
- “The world changes. Sometimes it changes a lot. But last time I checked it was still around.”
- “Our world is 4.543 billion years old. It seems to have a knack for sticking around.”
Well, she’s certainly optimistic about the future.
8. Windows or Mac?
One thing we recommend never questioning is where Siri’s loyalty lies. Try it for yourself — ask Siri to choose between Windows or Mac. You’ll likely get to hear one of the following responses:
- “This may not be a big surprise, but I’m an Apple fan.”
- “I’m pretty loyal to Apple. It’s just how I’m made.”
- “Speaking for myself, I’m partial to all things Apple.”
9. Will you marry me?
One fun way of putting Siri in an extremely awkward position is asking her to marry you. If you’re unfortunate, Siri may reject you immediately by saying “Let’s just be friends” or taking the blame on herself and saying “I’m not the marrying kind”. Otherwise, you may get a softer rejection like:
- “I think you should save yourself for someone who’s more of the actual human being type.”
- “I just can’t. We’d have to change my End User License Agreement. A lot.”
You may even get a confusing response like:
- “Marry? Marry? No, quite contrary.”
- “If you love someone, set them free. And then stick to asking them about the weather and stuff like that.”
10. How old are you?
While we know it’s not good etiquette to ever ask a woman her age, we can take our chances when it comes to a virtual assistant like Siri. Here are a few responses you can expect to hear:
- “I am as old as the eastern wind, and as young as a newborn caterpillar.”
- “I’m as spry as a slice of young ginger.” (She’ll even switch up her voice!)
- “Well, I came into existence gradually. But my first day as an assistant was October 4th, 2011.”
- “Well, I’m no Spring Chicken. Or Winter Bee. Or Summer Squid, or Autumnal Aardvark…”
- “They say that age is nothing but a number. But technically, it’s also a word.”
While it’s safe to conclude that Siri’s answers to this question were definitely confusing, she isn’t lying with the fourth answer! After going through the funny questions to ask Siri, you may also want to check out 5 questions you should never ask Siri.