Facebook is going to change its name next week, The Verge reported. It’s not going to be re-adding a ‘The’ but rebrand in order to reflect Mark Zuckerberg’s vision of a ‘metaverse’.
A rebrand could also serve to further separate the futuristic work Zuckerberg is focused on from the intense scrutiny Facebook is currently under for the way its social platform operates today. A former employee turned whistleblower, Frances Haugen, recently leaked a trove of damning internal documents to The Wall Street Journal and testified about them before Congress. Antitrust regulators in the US and elsewhere are trying to break the company up, and public trust in how Facebook does business is falling.
Check It Out: Facebook is Going to Change Its Name Next Week
Chicago DA:
There’s a boatload of complaints about your ‘business’ practices. The Chamber of Commerce – everybody says you’ve become too powerful. These have resulted in some serious charges against you, Mr Capone.
Capone:
Some people are always complainin’. They’re just unhappy people. I’m just tryin’ to run a business here!
Chicago DA:
Extortion. Racketeering. Bootlegging. Intimidation. Hell, you’re even being accused of murder! What kinda business does that?
Capone:
Okay, I’m not perfect. Maybe made a few mistakes. But lookit, I’m turnin’ over a new leaf.
Chicago DA:
A what?
Capone:
Yeah. A new leaf. Startin’ next week, I’m even changin’ my name. The name ‘Capone’ carries some…baggage.
Chicago DA:
What the hell’s that supposed to do? I mean, changing your name and all? Trying to hide your identity?
Capone:
I’m re-brandin’.
Chicago DA:
Oh, so you’re gonna take the same lawlessness into other ‘businesses’ and spread it around? Hoping nobody knows it’s still you?
Capone:
It’s called diversifyin’. But, yeah. Spreadin’ it around.
Chicago DA:
You’re still gonna be the same guy, and need I remind you, a guy accused of some serious…stuff. All ‘diversification’ is gonna do is get you entangled into even more trouble with the law, Mr Capone.
Capone:
Hey, lookit; I know people think I’m a hard guy an’ all, but that’s only on the outside. Inside, in the middle, I’m all soft. Know what I mean?
Chicago DA:
No, I don’t. And frankly, I don’t give a –
Capone:
– Startin’ next week, don’t call me Capone. You can call me ‘Al’. Got a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Almost musical. People gonna love it. And nobody’s gonna even believe it’s even the same guy.
Chicago DA:
They’ll know it’s still you. Especially when the pain comes. You must think the public’s pretty stupid.
Capone:
Nope. They just have short memories, especially when I give them new ones.
Chicago DA:
And how do you propose to do that, Capone?
Capone:
Give ‘em what they want, and distract ‘em while I fleece ‘em. I mean, make ‘em pay up. And anybody don’t like it, they’ll blame you!
Maybe like the notorious gangster, Zuckerberg will get into tax trouble.
Suggestions:
Legitimate Business
Most Definitely Not a Villain
Covert Group with Mundane Front
Not Stealing Your Identity Inc.
Metaverse Crack
A Crack in the Metaverse
Sounds like a good title for my next book.
Good one!