As I am writing this I have been without my computer for 16 days. That is s.i.x.t.e.e.n. days. One six. Days. Without my computer.
I am writing this in longhand. You remember longhand. We learned it in elementary school. I think it was about third grade. We used paper and pencil and practiced curving our letters properly. Longhand doesn’t have a spell check.
This all started out so innocently. For quite some time the FireWire port on my computer has not worked. That means, among other things, that my iSight camera won’t work on my computer. I live in Texas and my son lives in California so I like to use the camera when I communicate with him. I can tell how he is doing if I can see him.
Fixing the FireWire port means replacing the motherboard which is expensive. My children gave me that repair as a Christmas gift. The computer went off, the work was done, and I had it back in a jiffy. I was a happy camper.
It only lasted 4 days. It died. It went back. The new motherboard was faulty. They are waiting for a replacement part. I am waiting for my computer. There is no estimated time for its return.
I once wrote a column about the entire broadband Internet service in my city going off-line for almost a week. That column was titled " My E-mail is Down? The Apocalypse Has Begun" At this point I should insert a link to that previous column [Editor’s Note: We’ve got your back, Nancy] but of course I can’t do that because I DON’T HAVE my computer! Putting things in perspective, not having e-mail wasn’t as bad as I thought.
And did I mention the fact that longhand doesn’t include spell check? I thought so. It took me 20 minutes to find a dictionary so I could look up the spelling of apocalypse. On a good day spelling is not at the top of the list of my personal accomplishments. Even if it were, apocalypse has not been a frequently used word around my house since previously mentioned son was a teenager and mistakenly assumed his room only had to been cleaned once a year.
A word to the wise here. When my computer died it did not flash me a message that said "excuse me, I am going to crash and burn. You have an hour to back up your data."
Eventually my beloved Mac will find its way back home. Meanwhile I have used the ubiquitous longhand, a friend’s computer, the computers available at a local restaurant that makes Macs available to the public at no charge, and the computers available at our local public libraries.
And here is another word to the wise. If you choose to use one of the free computers available at your local public library to view porn with your sweetie, it is not a good idea to discuss what you are viewing in a normal speaking voice. It’s way more information than I wanted.