[Warning: This article includes profanity, as quoted from lawsuit documents – Editor]
A lawsuit has been filed against Apple asking for damages because Apple didn't protect an idiot from porn. AboveTheLaw reported that a Nashville man named Chris Sevier is suing Apple for not installing filters on the company's Macs that would prevent him from accessing porn.
TMO Artist's Interpretation of Man Accidentally Discovering Porn
The depths to which some people in my country will sink to avoid any and all personal accountability and/or make an unearned buck unfortunately never ceases to amaze me. This suit might represent a new low.
Note that our setup wasn't hyperbole. Snippets from the suit include:
The Plaintiff is a victim of Apple’s product that was sold to him without any warning of the damage the pornography causes. “But for” the Plaintiff’s use of the Apple product, the quality of the Plaintiff’s life would have been much better and injury would have been avoided. The Plaintiff sustained these unwarranted damages in the course of using Apple’s product as designed. Apple’s product was not adequately equipped with safety features that would have otherwise blocked unwarranted intrusions of pornographic content that systematically poisoned his life.
[…]
In using safari, the Plaintiff accidentally misspelled “facebook.com” which lead him to “fuckbook.com” and a host of web sites that caused him to see pornographic images that appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and lead to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences.
[…]
As human beings themselves, Apple employees know that a man is born full of harmonies and attacked to by women engaging in sexual acts with the intent to cause vicarious arousal.
According to AboveTheLaw, the man filing the suit is himself an attorney, though that didn't stop him from filing his 50-page complaint with all manner of spelling mistakes and typos, as shown in the last paragraph above (harmonies should most likely be hormones, though to be fair, I think we all know the danger of harmonies).
He's not only seeking damages, he is asking for Apple to install porn-proof filters on all of its Macs sold to everyone (in the U.S.). Customers who are above the age of 18 can contact Apple for a form that acknowledges the ills of pornography. After signing that form, Apple would send them a code to unlock the filters.
It's impossible to know whether Mr. Sevier filed the suit because he bored, because he truly believes in the merits of his case, or because he is delusional enough to think he can actually get some money out of it. It's hard to believe he think it has merit, but it is possible that he is willing to go to extreme lengths to avoid responsibility for his own actions.
There's more on the case in the AboveTheLaw story.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.