Todayis main attraction is Michael Dellis keynote speech. In his fat-Elvis-like white suit he personally delivers all the most exciting news from Dell.
Michael steps forward in a drum roll and does a little dance with the microphone stand. He says to the audience: "Well let me hear ya say YEAH!!"
"YEAH!!!!" Roars the audience.
After a couple of hours of the showmanship Mr. Dellis fans have come to expect, the meat of the keynote arrives: the new machines. It is impossible for me to convey the excitement that comes from personally hearing it from the horseis mouth, but here is the upshot:
A new black notebook, slightly faster than last yearis!
And a new grey desktop machine, slightly faster than last years!!
Ooooooh, yummy. I am so darned excited!!!
The next best part of the conference is when Steve Ballmer of Microsoft comes out on stage to brief us on the new exciting software that will be coming soon from that company. He says something like: "…And that is the upcoming Office 3000. You will love it. If not, you will use it. As if you had a choice!" And then he breaks down laughing for some reason. OK, I really didnit understand that part.
Man, I am already looking forward to the DellWorld conference in half a year. Michael Dell rules. Steve Jobs is lame. Dell Computer is the leader! Apple is going down!
Who is the leader?? Who is spearheading the 21st century?!! Dell! Dell! Dell!
The above has been a work of satire, and any and all similarities with real people or computer companies has been wholly intended.
Yours, Eolake
Eolake Stobblehouse is a contributing editor to the Mac Observer, specializing in cultural matters, and comes to us by way of MacCreator. Send him your comments and tips.